A little update...

So, since May 28, I've been taking some medication that I hope will level out my moods. This is the week that my "moodiness" would usually begin. I'm not sure whether it's going to help or not, just yet... The meds haven't seemed to affect me much, except for the fact that I've been more sleepy on occasion than normal. I'll keep posting as I go!
On another note, my running is going great! I'm up to 2.5 miles and pressing on! I'm registered for my first 5K on August 22! Go me!

Inner turmoil.

So, it seems I've been fighting an uphill battle with myself for about 3 months now. Well, 3 months that I'm fully aware of, though, I suspect it's something I've dealt with for much longer than that. I've been keeping a log of my "moods" lately. When my "ups" and "downs" are, the physical symptoms that go along with it as well as any outside influences (money, other people, etc.). I began to notice that back in March, 2 weeks before "Aunt Flo" comes to visit, I start to lose all interest in the things around me, my appetite changes DRASTICALLY and I develop an acute case of Tourette's Syndrome (minus the tics). It's P-M-S for sure, but Lord, have mercy, it's B-A-D!

Here's my dilhemma. As a Christian woman, the Bible tells me that I need to "die to the flesh" every day, meaning I must learn to overcome all selfish impluses. I try. Do I ever try! There are times, though, when it's too much to bear. I am completely out of control... For that reason, I made an appointment with my doctor to hopefully find some reasonable solution for the times when I get "the crazies". My hesitation with finding a "medical" solution is that I don't want to disappoint God. The way I have come to understand His word, He made each of us perfect in His image and that we are ach given our own measure of what we can handle. That said, is it wrong, as a Christian, to say "Hey, I need something to level me out."...? I must say, I'm blessed to have a doctor who is a Christian, as well, and hopefully, he'll give me some insight.

Until then, I'll keep trying to "die to the flesh" and ask for a LOT of forgiveness!


P.S. I'll try to be a better blogger, too! ;)

{HOME}

We're going on one month of Joe's employment and what a month it's been! We're getting into a routine slowly, but, surely. Joe leaves for work on Monday morning since he doesn't work until later in the day. That leaves 5 "Daddy-less" days and then comes the beloved weekend! Two wonderful days together as a family before work beckons again.

We had considered moving closer to Joe's work in Pacifica, but the commute proved to be too much for him. Bay Area traffic is not his thing! I think the thing that solidified our decision was when we returned to Mount Shasta on the weekend after the storm was over. We realized that we have a wonderful network of friends that help us anytime we need it, whether it be to plow out a driveway at 11:45 at night or to lend an ear when one of the little ones is sick. We have a HOME here. We have friends that care or us and our children, just as we care for them and theirs.

Home is not just a place you spend your time or lay your weary head. Home is where you share experiences and where you love one another. Home is my favorite place in the world.

What a year!

From this....


Today, my last baby turns ONE year old. This past year has flown by with tremendous speed, leaving me reeling and wondering, "Where has the time gone?".

To this...

Ruby Jeanne is growing into a wonderful little person. God has blessed me with 4 amazing short people. Without them, I'm not quite sure who I would be...

Finally....

Our patience, diligent prayer and unwaivering faith have brought a dream to fruition. For many people, having a "job" is not something you dream of, rather something you must "do" daily as a responsible American adult. Not so in Joe's case. This particular job has been almost 5 months in the making, starting with one of those random, "I can get you a job with my company" comments at a wedding last summer.

Going from "Carpenter by day" to "Tunnel Miner by night" is proving to be a bit rough, on Joe, as expected. What wasn't expected is how I'd be handling the changes. Things around "Gocke Central" are kind of in an uproar lately. We're at a major crossroads yet again. Much prayer is going into a serious decision regarding where we call home. We've got to decide whether it's better for Joe to "live" in Pacifica during the work-week and travel home for his 1-2 day weekends or if we should pack up the family and move to Tracy, which is a 1-3 hour commute each way for Joe daily. That way, he'd be home each day...

It all boils down to just what we're willing to sacrifice for the "almighty Dollar". Just how much is our time together as a family worth? Would Joe's absence during the week make our family stronger or weaker? If he's home to sleep every day, will that put limitations on our activities as a family? So many questions.

Today, they'll remain unanswered.

"Patience is a virtue"..

"Wings" out our back window...

We've all heard that phrase said time and time again. Today, I'm earning that virtuosity! It happens to be one of those times in my life where I've been waiting for something wonderful to happen and I find myself waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting...... I keep telling people I'm in a "holding pattern", "waiting on the green light" before I can celebrate and start to take in a new way of life.

I'm trying to remain patient today, but it's taking quite a bit of effort! "Patience" is not something that comes naturally. People aren't BORN patient. Any mother knows this fact all too well (just think of hungry babies, wild toddlers, anxious kids...)! We all have the "patience potential" inside us, it's like a little seed. We just have to nurture it for it to grow. So, today, I'm "growing" more and more patient.

With that, I'll leave you with a verse that I love.
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

Some of what I do...

A few months ago, I decided to start a little project or 86. See, I really love to make stuff. Random things. I have a particular affinity for aprons, I have no idea why (maybe because I'm always in the kitchen?). I also love to make things that put a smile on someone's face and perhaps, warm a heart or two. In all honesty, I really was planning (hoping, really) to make a little extra money to help our family and take a bit of pressure off of my husband, Joe. My "plan" failed pretty miserably, but I made a lot of super cute stuff! :) On to my next big project.....