Inner turmoil.

So, it seems I've been fighting an uphill battle with myself for about 3 months now. Well, 3 months that I'm fully aware of, though, I suspect it's something I've dealt with for much longer than that. I've been keeping a log of my "moods" lately. When my "ups" and "downs" are, the physical symptoms that go along with it as well as any outside influences (money, other people, etc.). I began to notice that back in March, 2 weeks before "Aunt Flo" comes to visit, I start to lose all interest in the things around me, my appetite changes DRASTICALLY and I develop an acute case of Tourette's Syndrome (minus the tics). It's P-M-S for sure, but Lord, have mercy, it's B-A-D!

Here's my dilhemma. As a Christian woman, the Bible tells me that I need to "die to the flesh" every day, meaning I must learn to overcome all selfish impluses. I try. Do I ever try! There are times, though, when it's too much to bear. I am completely out of control... For that reason, I made an appointment with my doctor to hopefully find some reasonable solution for the times when I get "the crazies". My hesitation with finding a "medical" solution is that I don't want to disappoint God. The way I have come to understand His word, He made each of us perfect in His image and that we are ach given our own measure of what we can handle. That said, is it wrong, as a Christian, to say "Hey, I need something to level me out."...? I must say, I'm blessed to have a doctor who is a Christian, as well, and hopefully, he'll give me some insight.

Until then, I'll keep trying to "die to the flesh" and ask for a LOT of forgiveness!


P.S. I'll try to be a better blogger, too! ;)